灰色地带

REVAMP!!!

2010-07-29T19:00:00.001+10:00

2010年8月1日...敬请期待！！！

REVAMP!!!

2010-07-29T19:00:00.000+10:00

2010年8月1日...敬请期待！！！

Cheeky!!! (borrowed from Jan)

2007-02-21T00:24:00.000+11:00

Barbara Walters of Television's 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul, Afghanistan, several years before the Afghan conflict. She noted that women customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their husbands.

From Ms. Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes, and without hesitation said, "Land mines."

wo de jue ding dui ma?

2007-02-15T19:54:00.000+11:00

sui ran yi jue ding cong xin hui dao gong si...ye jin guan jue ding huo xu zao jiu zuo hao le...dan...ci ke de wo que mian ling le hen da de ya li...wo yao zen me zhi dao zi ji de jue ding shi fou zheng que?...zen me qu bu li hui ta ren dui wo zhe ge jue ding de yan guang?...ru he tiao shi zi ji dui yu gong zuo de tai du?...sui ran wo zhi dao wo bing mei you hou hui dang chu li kai gong si de jue ding...yin wei dang shi, wo que shi bi xu zhe me zuo...BUT...ta ren nan mian yi yang de yan guang...wo you ying yi shen me li chang qu ying dui ne?...

wo zi ren yi zhi dou hen yong gan...bu guo zhe ci de kao yan ye wei mian you dian da ba...

"(
(zen me ban ne?)

Beautiful...

2007-01-15T00:46:00.000+11:00

Although we have to be apart
We'll always be together
Close enough in mind and heart
To manage any weather.
Reality is often bleak
But love remains inside
A glass house on a mountain peak
The wintry world beside.

Love can build its own four walls
And heat its own small room.
Through icy winds and blinding squalls
Love can be in bloom.

Though continents drift far downstream
And mountains disappear
And life dissolve into a dream
Our love will still be here
You'll turn, and I'll be here.
-copyright by Nicholas Gordon

mY cOnfEssIons

2006-10-08T16:56:00.001+10:00

i honestly never thought tat i would find anyone else after him...& fall for HIM the way i do for him...after him...i realli believed tat no one is in the world deserves my love anymore...but after havin being together with HIM...i realised tat i was actualli able to love once again...it is a realisation & more of an exclaimation...i thought i had closed the doors to my heart...but alas! it seems...we do have more courage than we thought possible...

havin spent 3 years to forget him & evything abt him...i thought my love for him was so great bcos i needed such a long time to get over it...but its with HIM tat i finally know wat it means to truly love someone...givin him the space he needed, toleratin his selfishness (or perhaps over-maturity), being able to FORGIVE and changin from pretendin not to care to true benevolence.

a fren once messaged me: i can feel ur love & concern for HIM, give him some time if u're truly waitin for him...

my reply: actually i'm not waitin for him. I juz wan him to b happy. Its no point if he's too stressed up being with me.

I may have told many lies in my life...but the second statement is the truest of all...there's isnt anythin else tat matters more to me than his happiness...

we will b goin overseas in a couple more days...in the same country...but distance apart...

fly than...freely...juz think of me sometimes...tats all i hope for...

dEdicAted 2 JaNice... (ps: always say i nv read ur blog "P)

2006-09-25T15:34:00.000+10:00

iNtricAciEs aBt mE:
1. What time did you get up this morning? 0800
2. Diamonds or pearls? diamonds r a gal's best fren
3. What was the last film you saw at the movies? it was a comedy, but cant rem the title
4. What is your favorite TV show? --- nv watch veri long le
5. What did you have for breakfast? i had brunch wor
6. Your middle name(s)? jas
7. What is your favorite cuisine? maggi mee
8. What foods do you dislike? durian
9. What is your favorite crisp flavor? xiao!!!
10. What is your favorite CD at the moment? william so
11. What type of car do you drive? ---
13. What characteristics do you despise? superficiality...dishonesty
14. Favorite item of clothing? no favs in particular, anythin i like can le
15. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? right nw, its venice
16. Favorite brand of clothing? prob...topshop & forever21
17. Where would you like to retire to? somewhere with a large pasture
18. Favorite time of the day? mornin
19. What was your most memorable birthday? um...cant rem leh...prob the one we spent at aus
20. Where were you born? my home la
21. Favorite sport to watch? swimmin...Ian Thorpe is still my fav...
22 . Who do you least expect to send this back to you? no expectation wor
23. Who do you expect to send it back first? no expectation...tis is gettin irritatin
24. What fabric detergent do you use? dynamo
25. Coke or Pepsi? pepsi
26. Are you a morning person or a night owl? mornin person la
27. What is your shoe size? 8
28. Do you have any pets? ya a dog
30. What did you want to be when you were little? an airstewardess
31. Summer/Winter? Summer
Favorite Advertisement?no time to watch tv
***************RIGHT NOW*****************
Wearing? my uniform
Eating? nothin to eat wor
Drinking? Water
Thinking about? him as usual
Book? lisa kleypas's scandal in spring
**********THE LAST 24 HOURS**************
Cried? nope
Met someone new? met, yes...known, no
Cleaned your room? not in the last week
Driven a car? nope
How many hours sleep? 7
*************DO YOU BELIEVE IN* *************
God? um... sometimes
Yourself? ya, most often
Your friends? some
Santa Claus? yes
Destiny/Fate? Yes & No
Ghosts? Not Only
**********FRIENDS AND LIFE**********
Who have you known the longest of your friends? porky, meihui, sam, carina, jan,
Who do you go to for advice? definitely jan
When do you cry the most? anytime, anywhere wor, whenever i think of him
Do you want your friends to do this and send it back to you? no need ba

2006-09-14T17:11:00.000+10:00

相约来到这世上却在途中失散走的路是否一样
看着同一片艳阳我忽然有预感久违的陌生人会遇上

上帝布置的悲伤和分配的阳光你和我是否一样
拥抱同一种信仰我忽然有预感我们会是彼此的星探

也许是你笑的弧度跟我很像
也许是因为守护的星座和我一样
也许是漫长的黑夜特别孤单
才会背靠着背一起等天亮

黑夜如果不黑暗美梦又何必向往破晓会是坚持的人最后获得的奖赏
黑夜如果太黑暗我们就闭上眼看希望若不熄灭就会亮成心中的星光

在這最后時刻...

2006-08-16T15:33:00.000+10:00

如果“兩個人”在一起并不會比“一個人”快樂，那我真不知這最后 '不愿放手' 的意義到底在哪里？

－－> 現在的我只想靜靜地珍惜和你在一起的每分每秒。

I fInalLy knOw y "We" EndeD...

2006-07-23T16:10:00.000+10:00

bcos i didnt love u as much as u did for me.

In love for the very first time, I can finally see through it all.

Dedicated to wil:
if ever u c this post, THANK YOU for everything.

a lItTle HumOr ...

2006-03-14T00:53:00.000+11:00

Jim arrives home to find his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He rushes over and rouses her. It's then that he notices that she's wearing a heavy coat and a mink.

"Are u k? What are u doing?" he asks.

"U've been promising to paint the living room for months nw," she explains groggily. "I wanted to prove that I could do juz as good a job as u, and faster too."

"Well, it does look like u did a good job," Jim says, lookin around. "But y r u all bundled up?"

"I know hw to read," she snaps. "The can said 'For best results put on two coats'."

:?

(adopted from Reader's Digest Feb '06 issue )

Sometimes when it's nt meant to be, it realli isn't

I'll Keep Lookin For U

2006-02-27T14:21:00.000+11:00

adopted from the film "New York Minute"

i'M fEElin NegLected

2006-02-10T00:06:00.000+11:00

some pp say the strongest frenships are always built upon time but recently i'm feelin realli disappointed wif my best fren... though i 've been back for more than half a yr nw...i've onli seen her twice...sometimes it realli makes me wonder if i'm simply takin frenships too seriously...when i chatted wif her online today...she only asked me y i didnt tell her tat i hav a bf...& honestly i didnt know wat to say except tat its been too long since we last met up....& when she gave the excuse tat cos she was stayin in hostels she juz simply didnt hav the mood to go "out"... i felt VERI disappointed...like my heart was shattered or something...to think tat 16 yrs of frenship resulted in this...i realli dunno wat else I can say...mayb its juz me...

2006-02-03T21:21:00.000+11:00

PISCES MAN

He is very emotional and always allow himself to be very emotional. He can have a good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours at work he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to understand things easily. If you notice him carefully, you will notice what kind of moods he is in.

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normal gestures mean he always look at other people faults, but he will not talk about it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you what you are thinking about. He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know.

He is not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society. Wealth does not drawn his attention, because he is not a greedy man and he thinks money is not something that will last. He could be very careless about his future. He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he likes to take an easy path, it causes him to have a very unsteady future.

He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. He hates rules and regulations. He will never look down on people. He is a polite guy and can be very aggressive when he is mad. He loves to think that he lives in a beautiful world and surround by nice people, so if he finds his world is cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead. His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. He can tease you and yet make it look like one of his joke. Even when he is sad, he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or depress.

He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those who need friend or lonely. He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. He has a chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with other important things, that's how he miss many of his good opportunity. He can be happy and content by himself. What h think is important is not "Love" ,but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you.

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. When he is with you, he wants to be happy. He understand his partner's emotional. He likes to take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not to disturb him. He is sensitive, quiet , shy and easily hurt. He wants to feel worthy. He can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person again.

He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he will hide it. He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his friends. He likes to have lots of friends, so you can not get jealous or else you will loose him. He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman walk by he will look ,so do not get mad at him knowing this fact.

When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. He does not like to take advice,so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you have to act as a good sample for him first. He likes a cheery and a smartwoman. If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that special person for you. He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all the time too.

sO aCcUrate iT"S sCary

2006-02-03T14:41:00.000+11:00

TAURUS WOMAN:

A slim moderately tall woman. Taurus woman is a funny and jolly person. Square facial bone structure, high cheek bone. Her round big eyes sparkle with wit and curiosity. You will not see many round faces Taurus women, and mainly she will have a strong jaw line.

A constantly changing person. If she is upset, she will not show it and will keep it to herself for a long time, and will remember them so well. If she gets really mad at you, you will suddenly become a totally and completely stranger to her. She is a patient person, but always need new excitement. She hates long talk meeting, long and endless conversation. She can be in love with you today, and one day she could act as if she has never loved you before. She has patient with what she wants to do and will never give up until she gets there. She will be very persistent in what she is doing till she has reasons for stopping her project, then she will quit.

Money for Taurus woman is not the most important factor in life. She thinks of money as an instrument for assuring of a good living. She has more satisfaction in achieving her goals more than satisfaction in fine clothes and luxuries. If you like a woman who always thinks of love and romance ,then you are dating the wrong girl. You cannot tell her to stay at home, she likes to work and preferred not work at home.

She loves animals and likes to surround by animals. Love is in her head, but Freedom is in her soul. She has her own idea about love and afraid to show her true feeling for fear of rejection. She is not the type to talk about love, but she sure has a strange way to show it. She is not good in showing when she is in love, but if she loves you she will be honest to you than any other women She will be honest to her love one, but at the same time seems distant. You will have a good relationship with her, if you allow her freedom. Do not force her to be with you in a poker game which she hates, but let she goes out swinging with her friends if she wants to. She will be different than other girls, and she thinks different is one of her unique quality. She is a public figure but belongs to no one.She will not stay with you, if she thinks you are not sincere. She likes you to have personality, but better not to compete with her. Loves her, but not too muchfor she afraid it will limiting her freedom.

She always stand out of the crowd for something she dares to do. You could see her dress like a poor farmer dinning in the fancy restaurant, or dress like a nun in an a cocktail dress party. If you are a politician who are looking for a wife, she will make a good one because she is cleverly smart and she could get along socially with any type of crowds. She is not a jealous type because she has to know you thoroughly before accepting you in her life. She has more curiosity in life than wondering if right now you are flirting with someone else. If you keep a distant from her, or go away for a few days, she will miss you more. Even when she is dating you, she also able to fond of someone else,if you do not have something she is looking for. She will never disappoint you or hide behind your back to make you loose face, but she is the type who just going to tell you to your face that " We're better off breaking up".She always remember her first love. Taurus woman holds the best record for divorce for she does not care about how people think of her, but every things should be done for "Happiness".

She has lots of friends and sure of herself, so you will hardly see she delays any of her thoughts before her action. If she think of something, she will go ahead and does it. She has many men wanting her for her constant changes is the challenge. She can be cute and funny, but suddenly cool and tough. She has her own style of dressing up, so you could see her dress like an old mate today, and tomorrow she may dress like she comes from Mars. She will have that interesting hair, dress and a look unique from anyone else She likes to learn about your dreams and your thought. She has fun teasing you and making jokes. If she did something wrong, she won't hide it from you, but do not ask when she is not in the mood to talk about it. She hates to owe people money and take promise seriously. Ifyou promise to pay her back, you'd better paid up.If you want to make it with Taurus woman, then do not be jealous or possessive, do not be narrow minded, do not criticize about nonsense or small and insignificant matters. Try to likes her friends and let her have her privacy, then she can be very sweet to you.

Anticipating

2006-02-03T02:53:00.000+11:00

i jUst WaNt tO...

2005-10-23T02:55:00.000+10:00

lean on u & hear u chatter as I fall asleep

watch ur face go "bad" as I snatch ur fav book away

steal a glance of ur face at the break of dawn

share ur fav music wif u

feel ur strength as i lay upon ur shoulder

pretend tat i'm asleep whilst u carry me to bed

listen to ur heartbeat & know tat u r right here wif me

watch ur face as u eat the food tat i prepared for u

b able to say "drive safely" each day u go to work

stare at u & know the reason for havin come to tis world

cry wif u whenever u r feelin down

support u in wateva u do

b the first to know everythin tat happens to u each day

believe tat u know u hav a reason worth living for

see only me through ur eyes

shout at u for shoutin at me

know tat u've always been curious abt wat I've been readin

& tell u tat no matter wat happens

u know...

"I'll Always Love You"

2005-09-19T00:26:00.000+10:00

Havent been updating my blog for some time...I keep telling myself it's because i dunno wat to write...But honestly..I think I'm juz running away from facing IT...I'm hurting...Abt the one issue i cant figure out...Why some people dun wanna face up to how they truly feel?...Some guys can love 2 woman at one time...Others can behave in a particular way in front of u juz to please another gal but when out of contact, he cant even b bothered...

I hav to admit...No one is perfect...Tat we all to some extent "hide" ourselves for purposes of protection, against fear of rejection, to isolate US from those who we may b unwillin to deal with...but for me...tat applies onli to 'strangers'...I dunno abt others...but I personally find it a dread to hav to PRETEND to b someone else even when I'm wif my close friends...Sometimes one might get so involved in one's acting tat u wont even know WHO's U anymore...

So for once, Be true to Yourself...

Cos in the End...

Its not about how other people think

Its not even about wat ur actions might bring

Its about U respecting URSELF

& Honestly

Its all that matters.

mAy 12

2005-09-05T13:28:00.000+10:00

Being born on the 12th day of the month (3 energy) is likely to add a good bit of vitality to your life. The energy of 3 allows you bounce back rapidly from setbacks, physical or mental. There is a restlessness in your nature, but you seem to be able to portray an easygoing, sometimes "couldn't care less" attitude.

You have a natural ability to express yourself in public, and you always make a very good impression. Good with words, you excel in writing, speaking, and possibly singing. You are energetic and always a good conversationalist.

You have a keen imagination, but you tend to scatter your energies and become involved with too may superficial matters. Your mind is practical and rational despite this tendency to jump about. You are affectionate and loving - but very sensitive. You are subject to rapid ups and downs.

爱，在“爱”过以后

2005-08-05T23:01:00.000+10:00

爱，在爱过以后剩什么？

爱，在坚持过后乘什么？

爱，在回报之后乘什么？

爱，在拒绝以后剩什么？

爱，在恨过后剩什么？

爱，在原谅过后剩什么？

爱，在回到朋友之后剩什么？

iTs GooD tO b HomE

2005-07-10T12:50:00.000+10:00

been back for 1 week already...but hav been practically engaged everyday...settlin my own & jan's stuff...busy meetin up wif frens...findin job...& recoverin from a 'not so painful' emotional experience...

hmm...i'm tired...but feelin energy boostin everyday...its good to b surrounded by family & frens...& the feelin that u know u wont be leavin anytime soon...i'm still tryin to adjust my place back home...& settlin in...its a strange feelin actualli...to hav to find one's place all over again...in someplace tat u know is home...

aniwae...been out wif frens tis past few days & the greatest achievement tat i found...was tat sometimes...time realli doesnt play as much a role in pullin apart those tat hav always remained dear to me...i hav always had the feelin tat mayb the 3 yrs abroad would kinda distance US away... all my close frens especially...but realli thankful tat at least i can still do somethin abt it now...realli glad tat i would b able to celebrate my fren's b'day for them from nw on...

i was out wif my JC frens y'day & almost walked home wif a stomache...from laughin 2 hard at the jokes tat we created...i never did felt so relaxed in a long time...

tis blog is dedicated to all my frens, "thanks for being there all tis while"

:)

June 14...cOntINued...

2005-06-20T19:17:00.000+10:00

Once again...so sian...tomolo my 2nd last exam...but much as i'd like 2 rejoice in tat...thinkin of the fact that i have a consecutive paper the followin day dimishes all such joy...cos it means i wont even hav time 2 breath...which means i wont even hav time to cook (but lucky jan say she cookin, dunno wat 2 do wifout her)...which means i wont even hav time 2 rest...which means i hav 2 memorise my stuff in (can almost hear the clock tickin already) 7 hrs...which means i hav 2 continue my 'panda' state...which means i hav 2 continue nt havin a gd nights sleep...but heng heng...wed is my last day of HELL

mY PaST liFe

2005-06-17T12:25:00.000+10:00

Your Sun is in Taurus (Tropical zodiac).

Taurus' influence inclines you to be somewhat headstrong, with a very set and determined manner.

Remember, Jasmin, success or accomplishment in life is not a matter of some great force or influence. Just as taught by the Master, it is not the power of the storm or of the earthquake or of great noises and the like. Rather it is the still small voice speaking from within you which becomes the influence through which movements of truly great forces really arise

Since your childhood, being outdoors and living close to nature is probably more significant to you than to most others. This love of nature and the great outdoors is from one or more past lives spent on a farm or in nature settings. For ages countries on the Mediterranean such as ancient Egypt, Greece and virtually all of the ancient Mideast lived in close contact with nature. So did the Native Americans of pre-Columbian America. And surely you were one of them.

好想...逃避责任

2005-06-14T19:13:00.000+10:00

明天是考试的第一天，但此刻的我却好不想读书，好想放弃，好想偷懒，好想休息。这漫长的一个月对我来说像漫长的10年，虽然已是我最后一个学期，但心中却闷的可以，就像有块什么似的压抑着我的呼吸，好幸苦，好难过...

末日之恋

2005-05-31T12:43:00.000+10:00

今天是5月31日...心里有些莫名的酸楚...可能因为是他的生日...我总无法忘记...我们在一起的快乐时光...可能你会说我自甘堕落...可能你会说我作茧自缚...但一个我曾爱过的人...我永远也不会把他忘记...但...就像那必须平复的浪潮...那必须走动的时间...我想我也学会了如何一个人继续走完这未知的路...今天的我终于才明了...原来...我们都始终必须过着"两个人"的生活...和他的相遇...像一场梦却醒不过来...

你永远是我的最爱，不管爱你有多难，我的心只想属于你

简单的快乐

2005-05-11T23:20:00.000+10:00

时间分秒的流逝...

从21至 22...

豁然间,

我发觉最快乐的原来是简单...

而最简单的却也是快乐。

当爱已至此，我们天上地下，有什么好说的

2005-05-10T23:50:00.000+10:00

...终于...

2005-05-09T22:10:00.000+10:00

无条件为你...付出

2005-04-23T22:34:00.000+10:00

你想努力的往前看，
我就努力地在你面前帮你开路

你想要努力的忘了他，
那我就努力地走到你心里

你需要依赖我时，
我就努力地让你靠着

不需要依赖我的时候，
我就努力地陪你往前走

无条件地为你
只是因为...你是你。

mY NEW plACe

2005-04-09T21:59:00.000+10:00

is small but cosy...silent but noisy...bright and yet dark...dim and yet alight...black thou

starry...motionless thou movin...sleepy amidst awake...lonely amidst companion...tickin which

stagnant...searchin which found...

min 10.08 tokin crap

2005-03-20T15:47:00.000+11:00

Love redeems the passions of the moment,
Underneath the qualms that quell the sea.
All the queries that have room to comment
Know quite well how good it is to be...

Love allows the rivers to run freely,
The tides to turn without the least regret,
The mountains to give way to time,
Pleased with what the eons will forget.

Love turns every moment to forever,
And every thing to unintended song,
And makes a worship out of all endeavor,
And through its suffering, undoes all wrong.

Bear witness, then, in love, that you might bear
To be, with neither purpose nor despair.

BonJour !!!

2005-03-18T08:34:00.000+11:00

Gd Morning!!! everyone...its the beginning of a new day... & i'm realli really refreshed right nw cos i slept for 9 hours...once again...i didnt sleep well becos of my assignment...but u know wat?...its finally been submitted!...hip hip hooray...

well...me, Jan & Ah Feng plan 2 go picnic...but its realli kinda cold rite nw...hope the weather will b better soon...

there're juz so many reasons 2 b happi about...

BONJOUR!!!

2005-03-07T23:26:00.000+11:00

"...something exists necessarily only if it is not possible that it depends for existence on anything else..." - Yandell

if there was anything left ABSOLUTE in this world, i would choose 2 believe in LOVE

已习惯了“曲终人散”

2005-02-04T15:54:00.000+11:00

今天，我终于无需回去上班了...原应是值得快乐的...我却开心不起来...

总结这次回来发生的一切，我庆幸自己在工作上遇见了一班好同事...和大伙工作时，我真的很快乐...也觉得时间过得非常充实...所以在曲终人散时...我才会万般感慨...

“离别”仿佛是随着我到国外念书而‘如影随形’的一种习惯...心中纵有再多遗憾...也只能装作若无其事...因为不想让身边的人难过...所以我强颜作笑...

因为如此，也早已成了一种理所当然。

So...pAIseH...

2005-01-05T19:58:00.000+11:00

as most of my frens know...there's always tis 1 week in my holidays tat i'm supposed 2 "NANNY"...whilst my mum enjoys her holidays...(wait, i tot it's supposed 2 b mine)...2day is juz the start & i totally made a mess of everythin...

1) was supposed 2 go NTUC 2 buy some stuff 4 tonite's dinner...but discovered tat i didnt bring enough cash...worst of it all...they dun accept credit cards... :>
2)left my uniform at my workplace when i was supposed 2 brin evythin home...worst thing...i'm not workin tomolo... :)

sometimes we dun realli get wat we planned 4...some pp say there's always a reason y things happen...but as 2 y the 2 incidents (mentioned above) happened...i honestly hav no idea...

为“爱”受惩罚

2004-12-28T16:36:00.000+11:00

在‘被爱’与‘去爱’间，我选择了后者...但在寻找"真爱"的过程...我常怀疑自己是不是做错了...

是孽或真像朋友所说的“时间还未到”...我总是爱上不该爱的人...该爱的我却偏爱不下去...

有时我真的觉得这或许是上帝对我的一种惩罚...为我伤害和拒绝那么多人的心后...而给我的一种考验...

在受尽“等待”与“心灰意冷”的煎熬...再将我和他之间的距离越拉越远...

直到有一天

GlAd tHat...

2004-12-05T20:39:00.000+11:00

hmm...its almost a month already...got my results back 3 days ago...heng ah!!...at least i didnt fail any of my subjects...n didnt waste my effort for the last semester...

juz so glad tat i can smoothly glide through the last phase of my studies...cos honestly...i cant wait 2 start my career...

at tis veri moment...i'm juz realli optimistic abt the future...its uncertain i know...but a part of me knows i'm gotta b out there someday...n a step closer 2 my dreams... :)

归属感

2004-11-22T22:04:00.000+11:00

It's been a week since i arrived home...at tis veri moment in time...i'm realli enjoyin myself...not tat i'm doin anythin fun or watsoeva at the moment...in fact i juz got back from work...

Its juz the feelin tat one gets when some1 feels satisfied, happi & down-2-earth wif her own feelins & surroundings...i'm now hiding away in my bro's room...listenin 2 my sis's horrendous laughter...& knowin tat my family is juz a door away n not miles away makes me also feel at ease wif myself...

Its all about findin one's place in the world tat's so BIG & eventually realisin tat "Hey, at least there's some place i would gladly return to"...

Heartless!!!

2004-11-13T08:49:00.000+11:00

i havent been sleepin well these few days even though i've ended my exams & should be de-stressin at the moment...but wif bills & all the money matters makin my head spin...its no wonder i cant realli rest...

but y'day... it was realli the ultimatum...or mayb not tat serious...but i juz cant seem to get over it...

i was tokin to "T" online who had juz recently experienced his PC breakin down & the loss of his mobile fone...so when i saw him on MSN...i was naturally concerned & consoled him in a way...so when he replied tat he was kinda "sian"...i then asked if he wanted me to tell him a joke...& u know wat his reply was?...he actualli said "no need la, i'm tired"...at tat veri moment in time...i was like..."What the F**K!"...to tink i actualli once pondered over if i shld get him an amulet... (ya, jan he's the one) ...

sometimes... i realli feel tat pp can get extremely heartless leh...its like u take it 4 granted tat the whole world is supposed to revolve around u or soemthin...not once rememberin tat frens could actuali choose NOT TO care...bestowin a little courtesy upon som1 who may not b tat impt to urself wouldnt realli hurt ba...

aniwae...it's juz another day of grievance...EXTREMELY disappointed wif him

因为我...不由自主

2004-11-09T11:25:00.000+11:00

如果有一天我会不告而别原谅我因为我没有勇气留下

如果有一天我会置之不理原谅我因为我不想让你太爱我

如果有一天我会说我恨你原谅我因为我真的无法亲口对你说我有多么爱你
如果有一天我会说祝你幸福原谅我因为我由始至终只想看你幸福
如果有一天我会消失于世上原谅我因为我只想悄悄的走
如果有一天我会为你掉下眼泪原谅我因为我将无法停留在你的怀抱里

如果有一天你想知道为何我们的感情注定要落幕
原谅我...

因为我“不由自主”

（别怀疑我对你的爱，它从不曾因任何理由而停止。）

Highly Agitatable

2004-11-03T15:59:00.000+11:00

For no apparent reason, it seems that i've been extremely highly agitatable these days...not 2 the extent of venting my anger on my frens...but still...i get irritated by the most trival details...and...i tend 2 focus on the bad rather than the good things...i wonder if tis has somethin 2 do wif the fact that i'm goin back soon...or mayb...i'm juz throwin my tantrums again...

i realli do hope tat i would restore to my calm and take-it-easy self...wonder when tat'll b?

我就在你面前，你却视而不见

2004-10-30T10:55:00.000+10:00

餐桌两边黑咖啡冒著煙曲折翻騰的弧線模糊了雙眼
妳習慣沒變手指頭敲打著玻璃杯一整夜不曾看我一眼

那條項鍊軟弱攤在眼前親手繫上的思念被妳放了線
空蕩的胸前是他準備要接手的世界專程來告別連再見都心不在焉

妳在一公尺不到的面前手拼命揮還是往下墜
眼神那麼绝凍結一切不讓我挽回
我在一公尺之外的世界一輩子回不了的原點
我這才發現妳離我有多麼遠

餐桌兩邊沒交集的情節看著妳度日如年等我說再見
你神情没变把距离扩大的好遥远一公尺就好像一万个光年

妳在一公尺不到的面前手拼命揮還是往下墜
眼神那麼决凍結一切不讓我挽回
我在一公尺之外的世界一輩子回不了的原點
我這才發現妳離我有多麼遠

我只有成全讓你離開我身邊

想结婚了？！

2004-10-25T22:31:00.000+10:00

我望着自己左手的无名指，一时间，有想结婚的冲动

对于自己的这根手指，我不愿只让任何一个人套住

你能说我傻，能说我痴，

但我只是不愿违背自己的信念...

— 就等着哪一天，有人能将“一生一世”套在那手指上

只要你过得好

2004-10-23T08:05:00.000+10:00

Bad Bad Day

2004-10-21T21:11:00.000+10:00

Today was a realli bad day.

I started the day pretty well when i managed to find one of my "fren" through frenster...but it all began when the clock striked twelve

Firstly, when I was meeting my orthodontist who supposedly promised me that my braces would be removed on the day i leave Melbourne to go back for my holidays, he turned back on his word and told me that he mite need a little more time to fix this problem. I know he didnt mean to break his promise intentially cos i could realli see the apologetic look on his face...but I cant help feelin dejected now that i hav to b stuck wif the braces for at least the next 3 months

Then, imagine my disappointment when i went to school to collect my psych assignment and discovered that i had actualli failed

Afterwhich, I met up wif Anita and her boyfren and found that her beau wasnt realli treatin her that well (at least it appeared that way to me) being nonchalent and a little overcommandin. I was actualli a little pissed with his MCP and heck-care attitude

Finally, when i reached home and e-mailed my tutor to ask for an extension for my major essay so I may hav more time to study for the upcomin Psych Exam, guess wat? She actualli refused to giv me an extension even though i was tellin her the truth...SO DAMN UNFAIR!!!

To sum it all up, I wish for this "bad luck" to disappear at the strike of midnite...

ABRACADABRA

好无聊 Ne...

2004-10-20T22:05:00.000+10:00

救命啊！！！好无聊哟！！！

已做完今天应做的功课，此时此刻不知道还能做什么，从刚才晚饭时间就无聊到现在了...

救命啊！！！好无聊哟！！！

To Be Alive...

2004-10-17T07:52:00.000+10:00

How do we know...exactly...wat does it feel like to b alive?

it's when u wake up 1st thing in the morning...with the room freezin...u feel its cold
it's when u wake up 1st thing in the morning...with the heater blastin...u feel its warmth
it's when u wake up 1st thing in the morning...with the music blarin...u feel its rhythum
it's when u wake up 1st thing in the morning...with the sun starin...u feel its light
it's when u wake up 1st thing in the morning...with the sun scorchin...u feel its heat
it's when u wake up 1st thing in the morning...with the comp screen blinkin...u feel its readiness

it might b a chore knowin u've woken up but...
there muz b a reason y u're able to feel, touch, hear and see TODAY

In the Midst of Dawn

2004-10-11T04:36:00.000+10:00

its 4.37am in the mornin...in case ur wonderin wat i'm doin in the wee hours of the mornin...i'm preparin to go to the airport to pick up my aunt...
*i'm now in an extremely "blurry" state...*

i used to wonder...sometimes...wat goes on in the mind when i'm awake at the wrong hours...now i know...its actually nothin...

but then again...its the only time i can afford the liberty to actualli think of "NO-THING"...being bogged down with so many assignments that i'm already too numbed...and the fact that i havent been sleepin well is kinda not helpin...

but its fun...being awake at the wrong hours...the mind being in a complete blank...

i guess i'm tokin crap...but then again...its my blog ma... :P

从未如此平静过

2004-10-07T10:44:00.000+10:00

现在是早上10.45分...我领听着言承旭的 “第一次”...窗外下着绵绵细雨...有些感伤...但却拥有着更多的平静...

音乐盘旋着...我疲倦...他遥远...

2004-10-02T22:58:00.000+10:00

笑声塞进梦里面
回忆搬到最旁边
收拾好爱情呼啸而过的昨天心恢复空洞整洁

一切干净到极点
你来你变你不见
现在只剩顽强的思念还没有被解决

若命运只想拿个梦敷衍我太长的等候
那大可不用美丽到让我以为这次心动会有什么...

也许还是重返寂寞
毕竟也只有寂寞肯永远爱我
也许还是拥抱孤独
从来也只有孤独肯陪我痛哭

从今后就选择沉默选择服从岁月如梭
（选择服从孤独寂寞）

我讨厌...

2004-09-30T19:24:00.000+10:00

我讨厌需要一个人的感觉
我讨厌想要寻找到他的不由自主
我讨厌他无声无息的消失
我讨厌不知道他在那里的自己
我讨厌那么那么喜欢他的我
我讨厌不知道我那么那么喜欢他的他
我讨厌他那么那么喜欢别人的他
我讨厌包容他那么那么喜欢别人的我
我讨厌自己原谅他的一切
我讨厌那么那么爱他的我
最重要的是......
我讨厌“我爱你”

Funny Sometimes

2004-09-28T16:39:00.000+10:00

i know i havent been writing my blog in ages...ya...cos there wasnt much for me to write about...guess life's juz gettin a little repetative huh...

aniwae...juz finished watchin How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days...been watchin it for like SO MANY times already...but still...cant help feelin touched by the story :)...

i guess we all dun realli know wat we want till it comes into our lives...been havin crazy tots lately...was thinkin of goin to Thailand to teach...it juz suddenly popped into my mind...mayb journalism wasnt goin all that for me afterall...na!...or mayb...i'm juz goin bonkers...

its all the same with L.O.V.E...u know...hmmm...its realli funni sometimes how fate plays a joke on everybody...u know like...havin some1 whom u dun like being there for u all the time...or...liking some1 who's like not with u...or mayb even when u tink u guys are not suited, fate comes knockin on your door and tells u that he could b juz around the corner...

aniwae...i guess the funny thing about it all is the fact that cos u dun know what tomorrow might bring...we live on in anticipation...

sometimes not knowin might b better......

我恨我爱你

2004-09-24T20:56:00.000+10:00

面带微笑离开你怀里我听天由命
最后一张王牌在手里二选一的机率
不能放纵爱你就放过自己...

爱情已过了甜蜜期多说也是无益
爱不爱我已经没关系一点小伤而已
你可以很放心我不会为了留你假装可怜兮兮

都怪我太不争气我恨我爱你
Oh~ 我爱你只是因为你是你 Oh~ 我恨你
你有我看也看不清的小聪明
你有我说也说不完的坏脾气
你有我数也数不尽你的…新恋情
没关系

我有你拿也拿不走的旧回忆
我可以一个人安静的忘记你
我恨你最后那一句我爱你

问世间情为何物，直叫人生死相许

2004-09-19T18:17:00.000+10:00

爱...何曾开始...何曾结束...

2004-09-17T21:48:00.000+10:00

（还珠格格3 --- “感同身受”)

我深深地被大伙儿的 “专属于你”而感动而喝彩...

小燕子的 “宽容体谅”
永琪的 “为爱牺牲”
紫薇的 “山无棱，天地和，才敢与君绝”
尔康的 “生生世世”
晴儿的 “远走高飞”
萧剑的 “因爱停泊”

都字字句句地烙印在我的心中...

那股愿为爱粉身碎骨，不顾一切的决心，
那份‘一生只为一人醉’的坚持
那只求爱得轰轰烈烈的“心” 和
那愿生死相许的一辈子...

“爱”永不结束...
就算走到了尽头，
只要心不死...
“爱”只会换个方式......延续

”忙里偷闲”

2004-09-15T14:24:00.000+10:00

Old Already :P

2004-09-13T19:27:00.000+10:00

Aiya...my back is kinda aching from cleanin the kitchen juz now...realli gettin old siah...do abit of stuff onli than backache already...

today ah...i didnt do much...cos i feel like i'm mentally exhausted...juz strugglin through my chinese essay with my last breath of energy...luckily its only 1500 characters...heng ah!!!

um...i've been feelin tired of late...or shld i say my eyes are gettin strained more easily as compared to before...think its cos i didnt rest my eyes enough lor...starin at the comp from the moment i wake up till the evening...

aniwae...as of tomolo...i will hav no assignments due for 2 weeks...hopefully i can realli get to rest...

um...realli proud of myself for hangin on...

Superwoman......

2004-09-09T22:32:00.000+10:00

accomplished ALOT of things today... let me see...

i had a lazy mornin..didnt feel doin anythin...but then again...i deserve the break for havin finally accomplished my psychology essay...hip hip hooray!!!

i went to school wif ah jiao for my class and met up wif anita... two happi woman talkin about their love life...and i was sittin in the middle of them listenin to them crapping away...but it was blissful watchin their 幸福 faces...

i went to chadstone for a short shoppin spree from 5 till about 8...considered quite short already as compared to when me n ah feng go city...bought a pair of pants from sportsgirl for $30 onli...

i came home then vacummed my room... washed clothes...and now sippin the barley drink that ah feng boil for us...best siah...

abt tomorrow...let it decide for itself... will rest early tonite...

gdnite angels...Zzzz......

傻傻的...Silly Silly 的...笨笨的...

2004-09-07T22:34:00.000+10:00

Discovered a realli Simple and Silly song...juz wanna share it with everyone :P

《而我知道》 by 五月天

冰塊還沒融化你在看表我笑的尷尬你說最近很忙改天聊吧
那天我在樓下想了很久想你說的話你說愛情很窄世界很大
(而我們應該長大) 就這樣吧就這樣吧我想我聽懂你話中的話

* 而我知道那真愛不一定能白頭到老
而我知道有一天你可能就這麼走掉
而我知道我知道這一切我全都知道
我就是受不了

而我知道我們曾天真的一起哭和笑
而我知道放開手但不知道怎麼忘掉
而我知道你走了以後的每一分一秒
卻還是這麼難熬

微笑緊緊咬牙給你祝福你自由飛吧你說溫室沒有燦爛的花
(你總是很有想法)

就這樣吧就這樣吧我同意可是我淚如雨下
Repeat *

Energy Depleted.....

2004-09-06T09:04:00.000+10:00

Its been a super duper busy weekend for me...been busy doing calculations for my psychology essay...hectic i tell u...dun think i've ever seen so many numbers in the past 2 days than in my entire life...

aniwae...i'm feelin much calmer already...been so overburden with my work...its gd sometimes that there's somethin for me to diverse my attention to...

feelin rather sleepy now and abit blur cos i juz woke up...but again...gotta continue wif my work...begin another esaay again...

太阳终究还是会升起

2004-09-03T10:08:00.000+10:00

遭受到一件非常不愉快的事，但也从中明白什么叫“有心无力”...

这是我第二次必须强迫自己做一件非常不喜欢做的事，被撕裂于理智和任性间...

有时我真的很讨厌长大，因为在这过程中，我必须承受无法忠于自己情感的煎熬，接受‘现实有时真的是残酷‘ 的事实...

这其中最大的悲哀就是必须面对“太阳终究还是会升起” 的明天...

在知道世界根本不会为你而停留的瞬间，我还是得继续我未完成的路......

前世注定的缘分，今生延续的未来

2004-08-31T20:32:00.000+10:00

If I Could Only Know......
(inspired by the film Kate & Leopold)

微冷的早上......

2004-08-31T08:33:00.000+10:00

Good Morning...having had such a busy weekend going to the city, zoo, sunday market, chinatown and rialto tower... i finally have the time to write my blog...

its been a fulfilling n very tirin weekend...but nevertheless i enjoyed myself...

today its back to essays and more essays...cos honestly...I hav too much work at hand to rest...aniwae...its juz gotta b these 3 weeks to tide over...

wish me luck......

"Make a Wish...Make a Wish...一起约定看最美风景"

2004-08-29T01:16:00.000+10:00

Whoosh...finally finshed celebrating Ah Feng's b'day...
Happi Birthday, Ah Feng!!!

Its been extremely bz today...i practically worked from 8.30 in the morn rite till 11.30 at nite...finished so many readings that my brain juice is practically squeezed dry already...
But, its been realli productive...I reaali didnt know that i could actualli do THIS much...

I'm realli glad to b able to help Feng Yi, my hsemate and close fren, celebrate her 23rd b'day cos we dun realli get many chances to do so...its onli because of the fact that i'm here that made me realise how important and special it is to celebrate a fren's b'day...

I used to take it for granted that i'll always b able to celebrate my best friends b'day every yr...but it was kinda regrettable that i wasnt able to do so this yr...especially Porky whom i've known for 15 yrs already...

But nevertheless...i know she will always have a place for me in her heart
& i'll forever treasure her as my "best friend"......

就让时间在这一刻停住......

2004-08-27T22:48:00.000+10:00

今天是忙碌的。

虽然我一整天都在温书，但总觉得时间好像怎么都不够...尽管此刻的我已疲惫不堪，但精神上仍想坚持下去。

真的累了，好想让自己长眠于世...

时间或许就会在这一刻停住了。

Its Bedtime...Zzzzz......

2004-08-26T23:20:00.000+10:00

I'm realli kinda feelin sleepy rite now...but will still update my blog aniwae...

Hmmm...today was pretty k...didnt do much (wat! again?) ...but managed to 忙里偷闲...and went to Chadstone for a 2hr shoppin...then went for class lor

I didnt realli like my tutor for the subject Com3060 consulting cos she's veri BO CHAP (in hokkien pls) and expect us to find out everything ourselves...but honestly...if i know wat to do in the first place dun even hav to ask her liao rite? wastin my breath leh...As if i enjoy tokin to her like tat...Xiao Wan!!!

But the gd piece of news...my dentist say my braces can finally b removed...most probably on the day i go back to S'pore...he even commented that my lower teeth are done...its juz the upper ones that need closin up of the spaces now...realli lookin forward to the day when i can smile n actualli reveal my teeth siah...been wif me for as long as i can remember liaoz...

Guess i'll end it here for now...will b back tomolo...

Goodnight Evy1 & Sweet Dreams...Zzzz...zzz...zz...z...

Being Lazy......

2004-08-25T21:08:00.000+10:00

Well...i'm feelin realli lethargic today..despite having a gdnite's rest...The day went pretty well cos i managed to locate the books that i needed for yet another assignment...but my legs as a result became rather sore..cos i climbed like (counting my fingers...) 7 flights of steps at least...went to Clayton to search for them...

Um...the feelin of laziness crept up on me when i reached home...and i ended up throwin my stuff all over the place...

I missed my mom today and so gave her a call...it was soothin to juz hear her talkin although half of the time i was dazing...

Being Lazy may sometimes b a gd thing...
at least it allows me to 撒娇 hehe :P

Rashes...Oh My God!!!

2004-08-24T20:51:00.000+10:00

Its been a realli fine day throughout the morning and the afternoon until dinnertime when i actualli ate "spicy calamari and fish" and eventualli broke out in rashes...

I'm feelin veri agitated now with red marks all over me and the itchiness...Oh My God!..how i wish i could juz peel off my skin...

I didnt realise tha the dish actualli had wine/vinegar (wateva it was I hate it)...so rite now...
I need some time to cool off and hopefully i will feel better tomorrow......

选择是我的，不是你给的......

2004-08-24T00:41:00.000+10:00

每个人在感情道路上所做的决定都是自私的。
但，自私过后如果能真的得到快乐，那又有何妨？
我想和你们分享一首我非常喜欢的歌: 柠檬草的味道......

他们猜我们后来有没有再见离席了才会晓得怀念
突然我记起你的脸那触动依然像昨天
对自己我终于也诚实了一点

是不是回忆就是淡淡柠檬草
心酸里又有芳香的味道
曾以为你是全世界
但那天已经好遥远绕一圈
我才发现我有更远地平线

我们都没错只是不适合
我要的我现在才懂得
快乐是我的不是你给的寂寞要自己负责

毕竟用尽了力气也未必如愿
总是要过去以后才了解
突然我记起你的脸爱不爱不过一念之间
绕一圈今天的我能和昨天面对面

我们都没错只是不适合
亲爱的我当时不懂得
选择是我的不是你给的明天自己负责

给昨天的我一个拥泡曾经她不知如何是好若我们再见我会微笑
谢谢你谢谢你我尝过爱的好！！！

我们都没错只是不适合
我要的我现在才懂得
快乐是我的不是你给的寂寞要自己负责

我要的我现在才懂得选择是我的不是你给的
幸福要自己负责
错过的，请你把握......

今晚我特别想把这首歌献给所有正为感情“迷失”的好朋友...

通往幸福的道路本来就不容易，
但，每个人始终有权利追寻属于自己的幸福

SOMETIMES...

2004-08-22T18:08:00.000+10:00

Sometimes...when i feel like giving up...i'm realli glad that i'm not alone in this world...

Sometimes...when i feel like the road before me is laiden with obstacles...i look upon those who wait for me at the end of the road...

Sometimes...when i feel annoyed, frustrated or lost...its the thought that someone cares that keeps me out of my blues...

Thanks lots to all my friends who've been there for me!!! u know who u r......

延续篇...

2004-08-21T19:16:00.000+10:00

Well... i juz finished my dinner...extremely bloated now...Janice cooked a veri big portion of "肉脞面" (in Hokkien) for me...she kept asking me if it was nice...well...honestly...its 真的好吃啦！！...of cos cannot compare with the Singapore hawkers wan ma... but...one thing thats extra special in your noodles is 那份关心... ：p

Aniwae..刚才回来的时候眼见天空就要下雨了...me & Janice...几乎是跑着回来的...谁知一回到家就...真的下冰了...that's rite...FROST!!!...这是我第二次在这个陌生的城市观赏到此景...me, Fengyi & Janice were so excited...I even took 2 photographs of the 'meteor ice'... 流星冰 (sounds kinda wierd)

有时，我常想：回去后究竟会挂念起墨尔本的什么？应该就是这些生活的"点滴"了......

2004-08-21T11:44:00.000+10:00

An invasion of armies can be resisted, but not an idea whose time has come - Victor Hugo

CHAPTER 1......

2004-08-21T09:07:00.000+10:00

I awoke to the rays of the sun...feelin its light radiating upon my face...warmly i arose to the dews of the morning...

I played the song 有你在 in Fish Leong's Album...and honestly the day couldnt have been started in any way better...

I'm going to do my readings for another assignment COM3417 and complete an online posting preferably by the end of today...my housemate cum gd fren Janice will know...even though i juz finished another essay juz y'day...but being third yr and all...guess the only thing thats keeping me going is the thought that THIS WILL BE MY 2ND LAST SEMESTER...hip hip hooray!!!....

aniwae...thats all for now...gotta go brush my teeth...

The Beginning...最初的开始...

2004-08-20T22:37:00.000+10:00

今天是我launch blogspot的第一天，或许这里不会是拥有我最真实一面的地方，因为每个人总会有些最深切的秘密开不了口。不过，想对一些人说的话与事，将会毫无保留的在这里揭晓。最初的开始，小敏的梦想世界！！！